||[Jul. 29th, 2006|05:32 am]
|||||Electricution of the kitty?||]|
|||||Throbbing of my skull||]|
Updates of things in my mundane life:
I nearly burned my apartment to dust. Instead, I fried the oven, and have been cleaning up powder for a week.
The next go at having scheduled appointment of my mental reassment was to take place. It, however, got cancelled. For the third time.
I saw my dad in the same ICU ward I was in last year...it looks nicer when you're not looking up at it half-delirious.
Poor man couldn't even his eyes long enough to look at us. He tried, but they only fluttered.
I'm in the middle of reading The Vampire Lestat....
..but what's bugging me is this:
I'm single again.
It's not like I didn't feel it coming, I think I have for a few days now. I suppose I was just in denial about it...waiting it out so it'd be fixed. As we can see, it didn't quite work.
Even so, I don't think I've cried so hard in a long time. There were certain things I couldn't resist. Hell, I didn't even try. I wanted it. But fuck if I don't regret it...
Things build up, and explode after awhile...
This was the longest relationship I've ever had. Exactly one week short of a whole year...but overall, its not so bad...
I mean, I didn't lose her or anything.
Not by any means.
We'll still be able to talk like we do anyway...The only thing that's different is that I'm no longer in a relationship with her. Somehow, I really don't think that should hurt as much as it does, being that it's the only thing that's changed. But, as I've said before, no matter how I despise it, I'm still just a 16-year old girl, with all the emotions that come with that.
...It's just going to be a while before I can look at her picture without feeling a bolt in my heart.
It'll go away, and things will be back to the way they were a year ago...Only now Fish is scarce as hell to even talk to for more than five minutes, and goodbyes for the night will feel half-empty without three words...
Then again, words are just words, no matter what they may be...It's the meaning that counts...
It's Saturday now....so I almost wonder if I'll get a wakeup call like i have for the past while.
...I hope so.
..And it's Walter's birthday...I shall have to track him down and pelt him with his present.
To close this, I'm just going to say-
This is my place to drain...I don't want anyone feeling bad, or upset because of any words above these words...
But now, I go to bed. Goodnight, assorted electric peanut shavers.
Also--Why do these always take me an hour to write?